life is shit. carpfishing just makes it a tad less shitty.

the other day as i was snacking on some freshly plucked kid´s eyeballs, watching wrestling on czech television, i accidently dropped my cocaine vial, i see it drop in slow motion, hitting the remote control, switching the channel, the vial on the dial, epic stuff.

anyway, on came this show, all pastel colours, a clean sort of dullness, with two ladies (Yvonne & Kirsten, Maren & Mareike??) in their thirties that looked like they might have played bass or keyboards in a rrrriot girrrrl band called "the splicing needles" once but had since given up on feminism. and had started tanning, waxing and working out. in what seemed to be a show aimed at the whole of the happy family, they were going on about snorkeling and breast implants and diets, their garden on the balcony and the ten best ways to keep your kids on track and off crack.
i didn´t get the last bit but i´m pretty sure i heard one of them say that snorkeling enables her to "JUST BE". so what nautic exploratory pursuits incorporating a facemask and a snorkel are to Maren and/or Karen, carpfishing is to me.

i was outfished this weekend by mr. carpfishing, CHFM. it´s a sheer pleasure to watch this man angle and i´m well chuffed for him that he managed to get among the good´uns. cheers and big up to you mate! it´s been awesome as always. night fishing and day tripping. bareback, backdraft. no homo. snails snails snails!!

so if you see me on the bank in a swim next to you, don´t slag me off cuz i write a blog and look awfully pale with these cum stains all over me. this is not a fashion statement - it´s sheer horror and angst and fear. and no, i have not been smoking too much of this lovely sour diesel, if you find this installment a bit on the hippie-ish side, so fuck off.

do it like polsi does. carping out!

this is carpcore - the mighty return of the infamous team ganja

a lot of dude sweat. semi naked bodys. there is a sense of liberty in the air. minds thinking alike, along the same lines, towards a goal that is not quite clear yet. like hippie era carpers but with eastern european haircuts and suburban thrift store vintage militia clothing. like puppies, like terrorists, like catch and release crash test dummies. oh glory, oh eternity, clouds glooming kindly drift the other way, oh present tense. sun rise sun set blunts and polaroid sunglasses, sleep withdrwawl, love and lasagne, sound and sounder box, cause, effect, rigs rigs rigs bait bait bait. first i´ll have a cigarette, then i´ll have a coffee. we make our claim, we set our scene, we´ll shoot a movie. we lost the plot. we´ll shoot anyway.

so if you see me on the bank in the swim next to you, please do yourself a favour and take my dick out your mouth, i can barly understand a word you´re sayin, man. tssssssssssssss.......fuck off

be more service orientated & don´t hate!

my stick mix recipe

so what exactly goes into my stickmix? let me think. in there goes.................... fuck all cuz i don´t fucking use sticks. if i want to get my hands all smelly and greasy i might ass well jack off. or write this.

oh. i was invited today to join a secret society, a sect, maybe a cult even? it is all very mysterious and shadowy at this point. i have only met what i presume is the crown general, the sun god, the lemmy of this tribe yet and he, as you would expect from a man of such allure, was very secretive and would only let me in on what he called the "sole and soulful" purpose of this transuniversal movement: the appreciation and pursuit of carp and vagina.

i started out to strike up a sponsorship deal with (pleaseinsertbaitsponsonamehere) and that´s what i get for my efforts? well i´ll join anyway. maybe i can be assistant sun god or deputy lemmy. and then get sponsored by horst & klaus baits.

so if you see me on the bank in a swim next to you, please take one of my rods, break it and stick it straight into my eye. please then proceed to act as normal and pay your taxes and maybe change the colour of your hair once, maybe twice bianually. fuck off.

be more likeable!